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On occasion, Jay Spring is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “really delusional”, he states. “You are on cloud nine and you think, ‘The world will recognize that I stand above others … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

For Spring, these times of heightened ego are usually coming after a “emotional downturn”, where he feels deeply emotional and ashamed about his conduct, making him especially susceptible to criticism from those around him. He first suspected he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after looking up his traits online – and subsequently diagnosed by a professional. However, he questions he would have accepted the diagnosis without having previously arrived at that conclusion personally. “If you try to tell somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – most notably if they harbor feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve constructed. And within that framework, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

While people have been called narcissists for decades, the meaning can be ambiguous what the term implies the term. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” says a psychology professor, who believes the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he notes many people hide it, because of so much stigma around the illness. A narcissist will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “impaired compassion”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to enhance their social status through things like displaying material goods,” the professor explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in NPD Presentation

Although a significant majority of people identified as having NPD are males, studies suggests this number does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that female narcissism is frequently manifests in the less obvious variety, which is often overlooked. Male narcissism tends to be more socially permissible, as with everything in society,” explains a 23-year-old who discusses her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on online channels. Frequently, the two disorders co-occur.

Personal Struggles

It’s hard for me with receiving negative comments and rejection,” she says, “because if I hear that the issue lies with me, I either go into self-protection or I withdraw entirely.” Despite having this reaction – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her loved ones, as she strives not to return into the harmful behaviour of her earlier years. I used to be manipulative to my partners during adolescence,” she states. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she notes she and her current boyfriend “maintain an agreement where I’ve instructed him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if I say something manipulative, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up primarily in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have positive role models during development. I’ve had to teach myself all this time the difference between acceptable versus unacceptable to say when arguing because it wasn’t modeled for me in my formative years,” she comments. Every insult was fair game when my relatives were insulting me in my early years.”

Underlying Factors of NPD

These mental health issues tend to be associated with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” notes a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “linked to that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he adds, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was based on meeting particular demands. They then “continue to use those identical strategies as adults”.

In common with many of the individuals with NPD, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The adult says when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve high marks and life achievements, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “worthy.

As he grew older, none of his relationships lasted. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he states. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He didn’t think forming deep connections, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, similar to his experience, struggles with mood stability. She is “very supportive of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he explains – it was surprisingly, she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his doctor, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been referred for talking therapy on the public health system (ongoing counseling is the only treatment that has been shown to help NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: The estimate was it is likely to occur in a few months.”

He has shared with a few individuals about his NPD diagnosis, because “negative perceptions are widespread that all narcissists are abusers”, but, personally, he has embraced the diagnosis. “It helps me to comprehend my actions, which is positive,” he explains. All of the people have acknowledged their condition and are seeking help for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the condition. But the presence of individuals sharing their stories and the rise of virtual networks point to {more narcissists|a growing number