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Basic Toilet Humor

Restroom comedy has traditionally served as the reliable retreat in everyday journalism, and publications remain attentive to significant toilet tales and milestones, especially in relation to football. Readers were entertained to discover that an online journalist a well-known presenter possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs within his residence. Reflect for a moment about the Tykes follower who understood the bathroom a little too literally, and needed rescuing from an empty Oakwell stadium after falling asleep on the loo at half-time during a 2015 defeat by Fleetwood. “His footwear was missing and couldn't find his phone and his hat,” elaborated a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And everyone remembers at the pinnacle of his career playing for City, the Italian striker visited a nearby college for toilet purposes in 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, then entered and inquired where the toilets were, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” a student told a Manchester newspaper. “Later he simply strolled around the college grounds acting like the owner.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday represents 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned from the England national team post a quick discussion in a toilet cubicle alongside FA executive David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, following that infamous 1-0 defeat against Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the legendary venue. As Davies remembers in his diary, his confidential FA records, he had entered the sodden struggling national team changing area right after the game, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams energized, both players begging for the director to convince Keegan. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies found him slumped – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the dressing room corner, whispering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies worked frantically to rescue the scenario.

“Where could we possibly locate for confidential discussion?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Just a single choice remained. The restroom stalls. A significant event in English football's extensive history took place in the vintage restrooms of a stadium facing demolition. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I secured the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I cannot inspire the squad. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Results

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, later admitting that he had found his stint as England manager “without spirit”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It’s a very difficult job.” The English game has progressed significantly over the past twenty-five years. For better or worse, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are long gone, although a German now works in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Real-Time Coverage

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Quote of the Day

“We stood there in a lengthy line, wearing only our undergarments. We were Europe’s best referees, elite athletes, role models, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with great integrity … but no one said anything. We hardly glanced at one another, our gazes flickered a bit nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with a freezing stare. Mute and attentive” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes match officials were formerly exposed to by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What’s in a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to manage the main squad. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and provided some branded items, I've opted to write and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the school playground with kids he anticipated would defeat him. This masochistic tendency must account for his decision to join Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|